Hello friends and family!
We have had some movement in our adoption journey, and felt like it was a good time to share an update with you. Now, don't get too excited, as this movement did not result in a match for us at this time. However, knowing that things are moving is exciting, and that is really what is giving us hope to latch on to at the moment. Keep reading to learn more about the rollercoaster of a week we had last week and what our next steps look like.
On Friday, September 17th, I received an email from one of the adoption agencies that we are active with. The email had two birth mom profiles for us to review. This was the first time we have heard from either agency since we went active in the beginning of July so it was very exciting. The email contained some information in the body, like the due date, but it also had forms that the birth moms filled out with information on medical history, family medical history, why they were choosing to place, and some descriptive details. After reviewing the profiles we decided we wanted the agency to present our book to one of them. We let our agency know, and waited with eager hearts to hear back. We weren't given a date that our book would be presented, or what exactly the timeline looked like.
Fast forward to Thursday night (September 23rd). We were sitting in our living room after dinner, and Josh received an email from our other agency that we are active with. The subject read, "POTENTIAL MATCH - URGENT BABY BORN..." He immediately jumped up and started pacing the room as he read the information that the email gave. The email described how if we wanted to be presented, we would have to let them know by the next morning at 9 AM and the mom would make her decision by 11 AM. The mom decided to place after giving birth, and wanted a family who has not had a child before. There was very limited information compared to the other profiles. The baby was born that day and was healthy, so we would have to leave that next day to the hospital if we were chosen. Knowing these bits of information, we figured the amount of families that would present would be fewer, and felt like we had a pretty good chance of matching if we presented. Ultimately, we decided to go for it and requested that our book be presented.
Side note, one of the things I am most thankful for during this journey is that Josh and I have been on the same page from the beginning. This journey is not for the faint of heart, that is for sure. Fortunately, most of the time we are thinking and feeling the same things. We may express those feelings differently, but we have been very consistent throughout this process. The night we got this information we both felt somewhat hesitant, or cautious. I am not sure why, but after working through our thoughts and feelings, we realized that we both felt emotionally connected to the first birth mom which made our decision feel harder. Whatever hesitancy we felt that night was gone when we woke up that Friday morning. The emotions are very hard to control. On one hand, you have no certainty that you will be matched, or that your book will even be looked at. On the other hand, that morning we could have been matched and headed down to Florida to be parents in under 12 hours. It's easy to start letting yourself picture what it would look like and creating scenarios in your head.
As we went through the morning hours, my emotions were building and building. Josh and I were calling/texting back and forth and talking about what we would need to do, how we would handle different things that morning if we were matched, etc. 11 AM came and went and we never heard anything. The fantasy of us becoming parents that same day started to fade as the minutes passed. Around 1:30, we got the email that we were not chosen. It was tough to read. That day we experienced extreme highs and lows. Luckily, we had plans to go to the lake with our friends that weekend so it came at the perfect time. We still had hope that the original birth mom, who we felt an emotional connection to, could still choose us. We left it at "it wasn't meant to be", and tried to enjoy the lake and move on.
Monday (September 27th), we got the email that the first birth mom did not choose us either. It felt very defeating. So many things happened in just a few days. So much potential. So many plans. All to be gone in a short amount of time. It was tough. Now, we will continue to wait for more profiles to be sent.
There is no way we would get through this without our faith. Although emotions were high, we have a solid foundation and know that it will happen for us when it is meant to. We know that the Lord is good. We know that he loves us and is for us, not against us. We are sharing this information publicly because we want to be transparent about this process, informative for those who want to know more about adoption or want to adopt themselves, and to share God's goodness and love. We are weak, but he is strong. We can't wait to see how he uses us and are eager for what is to come. We are also sharing this because we know that we have many prayer warriors out there praying for us. Thank you for your prayers, kind words, support, and love. So many of you have asked us questions, some, even tough questions. I never feel more supported or excited than when we are asked questions because we have learned so much and we want to share it with others. When the time is right we will be connected with our baby. #WeAreTheVillage
